Where to begin?

Raising children is hard.  Very hard.  If you try and just "wing it", it's going to be even harder.  That's why I think you need a plan -- a philosophy that's going to help guide you along the way.  It's like driving -- if you don't know that your turn is 4 blocks up the road, you'll be too focused on each driveway along the way.  You'll drive slower, be less confident, be more apt to make a mistake, etc.  When it comes to parenting, I use "Raising Happy Adults" as my guiding light.  With a singular goal in mind, it makes all those "driveways" along the way less distracting.  It helps me to smooth out the minutia of disciplining day in and day out and let's me focus on the long haul.

So let's start with what it means to be a happy adult.  If you're like me, you're most happy when you feel loved, secure, safe, empowered, joyful, important, in control of your emotions, creative... I'm sure you have more.  But you get the idea.  So my goal in raising kids, I like to connect the dots.  What do I need to teach them now so that they will have these characteristics when they are older?  And my hunch is that they will be happier along the way.  I don't think there is a trade-off.  It's not like I'm trading happy kids for happy adults.  In fact, I think using the goal of happy adults helps my kids to feel happier now.  But my goal is not the here and now.  It's the now "and then".

Now I must stop right now and say that I do not profess to have all the answers.  And I am just as apt to screw up as the next hard-working mama.  My hope in sharing my thoughts is to give others things to consider when deciding how they want to raise and teach their children.  If my philosophies ring true with you, great.  If they don't, no offense taken. You have to do what's right for you.