When it comes to disciplining, you have to separate yourself from the offense. Your child made a bad decision and you just happen to be the enforcer of the rules. Her punishment doesn't have anything to do with you. It has to do with your child and her decision. You can be mildly sympathetic to her bad decision but the consequence still stands.
"Please put the cat down"..... "I don't want to have to tell you again, please put the cat down."...... "OK, go to your room.".... "I'm sorry you're sad. I'm sure next time you will listen better".
All of this can be communicated without raising your voice. You don't have to be mad that she didn't put the cat down. She simply chose not to listen and, therefore, there was a consequence. There's no need to belabor the reason for the punishment. All they know is that when they don't listen, there is a negative consequence. It's that simple. When consequence is over, there's no need to linger on what happened. The reset button has been hit. Get back to what we were doing, give hugs, whatever.
When you raise your voice, you are telling your child that they have wronged you and that you are the reason they are being punished. Instead, take yourself out of it. It's between your child and their decisions. It's like you're the referee of a game. The ref doesn't take personal offense that you fouled another player. It's just the rules and if you don't follow the rules, there's a penalty.
The other benefit of not raising your voice when disciplining day in and day out? When you do, it goes a long way. Save it for when your child's about to put himself in danger. Save it for when the offense is so defcon 5, that you have to pull out all the stops.
Oh, and you don't get as riled. There's something to be said for lower blood pressure.
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